It’s becoming easier to speak of mental illness, and to sing the praises of pills that offer those who suffer from mental illness some respite. I myself am thankful for the relief. Truly.
Before I begin, let me say this clearly: no schizophrenic, no addict, none of the depressed or anxious, set out to hurt anyone. Let me say that again: those who suffer with mental illness do not want to harm anyone. It’s simply the nature of suffering to harm. As Paul said in 1 Corinthians 12, if one part of the body suffers, everyone suffers.
What you don’t see in the commercials for medicine and posts on social media is the destruction mental illness leaves in its wake. Behind those smiles, you often find the wreckage of those who love them. I’ve watched the ravages of mental illness take its toll on my family. Suicide and suicide attempts, uncontrolled rage, unreasoned paranoias, and unmitigated silence have had their way with the generations before me, and we are still very much shaken.
Maybe the man or woman with the prescription feels better, but ask her family, his friends, her church, or his children. Ask them if the wounds they incurred have been healed. Ask the single mom whose schizophrenic husband left. Ask the friend whose heart was broken by the anger of depression directed toward her. Ask the children constantly on edge by their mother’s anxiety. Ask the neighbors hiding in their homes, wondering if they should call the police. Ask the church members suffering under the weight of loneliness as caregivers. So many have been isolated and broken, not because of their own battles, but because of the battles they had to fight both with and against their loved ones who were suffering. Mental illness is a bitter pill for everyone.
There is no way to medicate a community for someone’s mental illness. But I believe there is a better way. It is not enough to relieve the suffering of the mentally ill, but we must work to restore them to those who suffered along with them. Restoration is part of the healing process not just for those who suffer, but for those who love them.
Recovering alcoholics know well that they are broken, but they also come to know that they broke others. If you are familiar with the 12-Step program, you know that steps 8 and 9 call for the alcoholic to recognize and make amends to those they had hurt.
This is not a heavy-handed demand. It is not a punishment, nor is it supposed to be a source of guilt. Making amends is the process of restoration to wholeness, not just for the alcoholic, but for her community. I think we need these steps when it comes to mental illness, too. No leper, demoniac, or unclean woman caused or asked for their condition. Jesus was very clear that their suffering was not as a result of personal sin. He healed them all so that they could enter fully into their communities once more. They could, by their redeemed presence, fill in the painful holes left by their maladies.
I take medication and I think my community is as relieved as I am. I’ve learned that I don’t just take medicine for myself. I take medicine for those who love me.
However, there is no room to brag about being “weak” or “strong” enough to admit you need medicine. Medicine is only a place to start. As a friend of mine who struggles with depression has wisely reminded me, it only helps you fight well. Once the medicine takes its effect, the real work must begin. Take the medicine, yes! But then take the steps toward restoration.
I’ve acknowledged to my husband, my children, my family, and my friends, that my suffering hurt them, too. In these instances, I didn’t ask them to forgive me for intentional sin. I have thanked them for loving me when it was hard. I have sought to understand the pain my struggles caused them and grieved that they had to suffer, too. This is what it means to suffer well, and it is the way of love. My compassion for them is a gift to them, just as theirs is to me. I hope I will humbly continue to walk in love like this as we suffer together.
All those who are suffering, including the mentally ill, need to be restored to their communities. Help them take these steps, because their communities need to know healing, too.
May God’s kingdom advance through restoration for all of us. I’m so ready.
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